Conversations With Olie: A Lesson in Decency

SETTING: While Jillian and I watch an episode of Glee on Jillian’s computer, Olie rolls over, and shows us his junk. OLIE: Guys! Check it out!!! ME: OH, COME ON!!! JILLIAN: Put it away, dude! OLIE: Haha, no way!!!  Beatrice! Come over here!  Check it out!!! Beatrice walks over to Olie and bats him in [...]

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Conversations with Olie: Chapter 5

SETTING: While sitting outside on the porch, Olie interrupts what was a nice, relaxing afternoon. OLIE: Dude!  Check out how wide I can open my mouth!!! ME (unimpressed): Wow…way to go buddy… OLIE: But seriously! It’s crazy!!!  And look how long my tongue is! How long is your tongue?! ME: Woah, you do have a [...]

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Conversations With Olie: Chapter 4

SETTING: While washing the dishes, I suddenly get the urge to listen to some tunes to help pass the time. Me: Olie, could you turn on the music on my computer? Olie: Dude, I’m tired, do it yourself. Me: You’re tired!? You haven’t done anything today, in fact, you ate your lunch sitting down. Olie: [...]

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Conversations with Olie: Personal Ad

Sitting in the living room, I look to Olie and get an idea… ME: Dude, we need to get you a chick! OLIE: I know man, I’m totally jonesing for some lady action… ME: Alright, let’s put together a personal ad for you, what kind of things do you like to do? OLIE: Hmm, I [...]

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Conversations with Olie: Chapter 2

SETTING: Olie drags a 10-foot-long palm branch into the living room and proceeds to systematically chew on the entire thing. Olie: Can I chew on this? Me: No… Olie (chewing a power chord): Can I chew on this? Me: No! Olie (chewing on a rope toy): Can I chew on this? Me: Yes! Please! Olie: [...]

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Conversations With Olie: Chapter 1

SETTING: Just after coming back from a walk where he peed AND pooped. (He’s such a good boy!) Olie: Yo! Can I take Pinotage for a spin? Me: I don’t know, have you ever driven a motorcycle before? Olie: No… Me: Then you can’t drive Pinotage. Olie: Bummer.

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